I like to torture myself, you see. And so yesterday, I went to the Berkeley Humane Society and pet the kitties. I pet so many kittes!!!!!!!!!! Weeeee! But then I came back to the cage where these boys were. They looked so scared and shy when I first looked at them, but when I turned to go, Issac mewed at me; a little purry-meow, softly, a few times. So, I got permission to close the door and open the cage, and they poured out of the cage and curled around me. Issac touches his nose to your lips when you make kissy-face. He also comes when you ask him to. Alexander likes to play with rainbow colored string-on-a-stick (see? they really are in love), and both of them let you pick them up and hold them and put your face in their fur. I love them so much, I would've adopted them on the spot, but I can't have kitties until I move. WAAAAAAaaaaaaah! 

R.I.P. Cat

My fishy died on Saturday of a horrible, disfiguring fungus. His name was Cat, and he was named after the creature that evolved from Lister's pregnant kitty after a million years on a radioactive space ship called Red Dwarf. I love my fishy. He was a beautiful goldfish, black with sparkley, golden belly scales, a flowing, luxurious tail, and big googley eyes. He was a gregarious fishy; he loved to swim up to the front of the tank and stare back at his visitors. When I would come in every morning to feed him, he'd be all perky and full of love. People who came to visit often noted how he was the sweetest, prettiest, most wonderful fishy they'd ever seen.
I miss my fishy.

I wish I had a picture...

So, my friends Siobhan and Danielle and I were driving down San Pablo, back to my house one evening after a shopping trip, when we saw the not uncommon sight of a sex-worker standing on the meridian. She was tall, gangly, and wearing jeans, a low-cut shirt and a parka to fend of the cold. Her hair was blond, stringy and hanging to her shoulders, and she looked like she'd been hooking for about ten to twenty years. She was also wearing a necklace. A gold chain, with a three-inch pendant, which lay askew on her chest. It was a heart of gold.

the Backlog...

So, the picture below represents only about a fifth of the backlog of things that I am updating in this office. There are probably about 40 files there. The guy I work under just doesn't do anything. He only has to work four hours a day, and yet he only manages about three work-related emails and a fourty-five minute cigarette break each day. He surfs the web, spends time clicking on all twelve of the "click here and we'll send money to the rainforest" websites, checks the weather in his home town...
The pile of paper below may all be trash, accidentally sent to our office. All he has to do is plug in a number off each 3-25 page clump, and then write a little note on the post-it that I've already attached that says, "yes" or "no". Then, we can throw out all of the "no" papers, and I can do the rest of the job. In three weeks, he has looked at 2. (I have done 100, plus five other things to each one.) Then, after whining about whatever comes to mind for 25 minutes on the clock, he goes home and takes a nap.
We have to share a desk most of the time, and it's covered in dust, piles of unorganized papers, his hair and his cat's hair.
YUUUUCK.
Man; I so deserve his job.

Sooo... I am working for a guy who is on half-time disability for unknown reasons. Really, I think he's a whiner who has burnt himself out enough to have physical reactions. 

Yey Xmas!

I did soooo well this Xmas; I was really quite surprised. I expected Jack Poop for Xmas, but I got spoiiiiiled.
My boyfriend gets about fifteen million quadrillion gold stars for presents this year. I just bought myself a used Playstation II, and so he bought me Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, and gave it to me on Solstice. I told him that I wouldn't open it until Christmas Day because I expected to not have anything to open, so he said he'd buy me another pressie. And he bought me TWO other pressies; a San Andreas strategy book and also Resident Evil Veronica X.
Unfortunately, I am having trouble with the control keys for that one; the whole run/attack system is quite funky, as in, there doesn't seem to be a way to jump, and when I have knocked down a zombie, I don't seem to be able to run over them.... I think I'll just have to strategize some more so that I don't get caught in the middle of five of them at once. It also sucks because my PS only came with one memory card (unexpected side effect of the seller's friends having games saved on it; but how are they going to use it without the Playstation????!!!) So, I don't have any room to save games from Resident Evil, because it's all full of GTA. OH, the HORROR.
Heh.
My mommie got me a bunch of cute little things; a cute little purse of velvet and silk ribbon in black; she also gave me a rectangular black leather box I found, a cute and weird snow-globe, candy of yumminess, fruits and nuts and some cute little stuffed animals/ornaments, a silky scarf and some random spices. John (boyfriend)'s mom got me a month of voice lessons. I LOVE HER!!!
On Xmas Day, I went over to John's for their pressie openings, and his mommie made us apple pancakes. Then I went on a walk with his fam, their friends and two dogs for a couple of hours in Tilden, which was lovely and brisk and clear. His mommie and I talked about how he's been so much happier in the last year, and less shy, and about his work. She said to me, in a car full of his dad and two other friends of the fam, that she thinks that a lot of his happiness has to do with me. It was so sweet!!! I felt all special. I heart her. Yey!!
I went home and played with my toys, and then went to dinner with my friend Shannon (the zombie director) at my friend Siobhan's house. Now; Siobhan is just plain old lovely. She's a vegetarian, but she loves to cook and be a housewife, and she loves to cook MEAT. Seriously; this girl has had two bites of meat in her entire life, and she stuffs her own sausages. You gotta love her. We had a glorious, wine-ridden meal; bread with aeoli spread, corn, peas, mashed potatoes, and this HUGE hunk of meat; like eight pounds of medium-rare, bloody glory. I should've taken a picture, it occurs to me now. Sigh. It was soooooooo good. They expected to have close to eight people eating dinner, but instead it was three meat eaters and two vegetarians. Hee hee.
When D went to go buy the meat, she said to the butcher that she would need enough meat for a Christmas dinner for up to eight. The butcher said; "oh, a college girl like you is probably going to have football players over, so you should take this big piece." Yeah; that butcher sure knows a girl who has a traditional football player gang-bang Christmas when he sees one. ??!!! Isn't that what all young blonde girls do on Xmas day? Well, after stuffing ourselves to the tune of butt-rock music (I swear; we actually heard "I hate Everything about you" in the mix,) Siobhan brought out dessert. We all moaned for mercy, but she had made a blueberry pie with fresh whipped cream on top, and her neighbor had made these fried cream-cheese puffs with powdered sugar on top. It was soooo good that we all stuffed some down our gullets, despite feeling we were going to explode. All of us except for S, that is, who claims that he NEVER does dessert. He just doesn't.
That isn't the sort of thing you say to a hostess like Siobhan. She stared him down like a cross between Mommie Dearest and a dominatrix. "You have to at least try it. You don't have to eat it. But you have to try it," she said, "You're an adult; if you don't like it, you can spit it out. But you have to at least try it." She held a fork in his direction menacingly, with her hand on her hip and the look of death in her eyes. D, Shannon and I were all laughing ourselves to tears. Siobhan would not give up. She walked over to him, the cheese ball six inches from his mouth. He pleaded for mercy, "No, no, PLEASE! I love you, Siobhan! This dinner has been so amazing! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it, but please; I just don't do dessert! Please, no!!"
But Siobhan does not take no for an answer, and shoved it down his throat. (See picture below).

After dinner, Shannon and I went to her house, while I played Monkey Ball with her bf, then we went to Death Guild Christmas at the DNA Lounge. There was a creepy couple onstage; a bald guy and a girl with a cowboy hat, and they were just a little too trashy for our friend Star's taste. He kept trying to whip her teats out, and shoving his face in her crotch. She was getting down on her hands and knees, and then he would spank her and rub her crotch through her jeans. It was really not sexy; they seemed to think they were at Bondage a Go-go, but it just wasn't pretty. So Star recruited five of us girls to make a dancing wall of hotness downstage of them. They eventually got the message and left... heeh hee.
So that was my Christmas, and it was lovely. Yey! Now I'm at home, playing with my toys and thinking that I should get out of my house and get some exercise... Well; we'll see if that happens. I also need to write an article for the Reel Video Newsletter, and that is mighty late already, so..... Merry Christmas!

She cracked a smile when she finally got to shove her cheese ball into his mouth.... 

I wish I had photoshop....

Photoshop would RAWK. (below)
Yeah. I'm going to go watch A Series of Unfortunate Events. I hope it satisfies my desire for dark children's stories, but I've read that it falls short in many ways, namely that Tim Burton was busy, and they didn't use the director from the Addams Family, either.
Hopefully it will be pretty...
I have a new love of the Tiger Lillies.

Yey. I should be a photographer. This was another with my silly phone-camera, too. 

all I want for Xmas....

Well, I got a part time job... so, thoeretically, I shouldn't starve for the forseeable future. I'll only be making about 65% of my income on this job, and I am taking out my lipring for it. It's a weird thing, having to suck it up for a while. I really don't want to, but I figure that it is much smarter than becoming unemployed. I will be working afternoons, from about noon to four in the city. Bummer thing is that I will have nothing to do from four until the time of dance class. What I really need is a job where I work until 6, then I can have a bite to eat and go to my favorite teachers' classes. Urgh.
My housemate was suggesting that I go to other classes, maybe even just take some yoga or something. I haven't been to class in quite a while... I have been not wanting to risk the depression that reared it's head last time I tried to kill 2 1/2 hours of work alone in downtown SF will all of the Xmas decorations. Of course, it shouldn't be so bad now that I have finished my grad school applications, but still. Maybe I should watch It's a Wonderful Life. Heh. I'm sure that would work better if I were religious. I should work on some Xmas cards or something, since I can't let myself buy all kinds of presents. What poo.
I sure do miss having friends that lived in the Mission with kitties and company for me to happily fill my lag time in the city. That would be super great.
And I have good things coming up. I will be having my first band meeting on Wednesday, and a fanciepantsie Solstice party on Tuesday. Yeah.
I should start thinking about my zombie dance group to be. What music should I use? Herm...
Maybe "Coin Operated Boy" would be fun, cause it has a mechanical theme to it, and zombies can be quite jerky. Heh heh.. Jerky.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

I just finished my writing samples and my Statement of Purpose!!!!!!!!!!
Now all I have to do is upload them and write a couple of little blurbs for money from one of the schools. OH MY GOD. I can't believe it. I have worked SO FREAKING HARD on this. It was kind of like having finals for the past two months, and working at the same time.
getting laid off next Wednesday doesn't feel like a thing. Bwah hah hah.
I feel AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

I have killed two pairs of platforms this week. I am a sad, poor girl. 

workie-pooooooooooooooooooooo.

Well, it seems that the work day is now complete. It was not so bad being a file-clerk today, and I am very excited about having interviews in the next couple of days. Maybe I will not have to be unemployed over Xmas. I do not want the torture of poverty; these last months have been hard enough as it is. I want vacation. And I deserve it, dag nab it! Sheeeeeeeeeee-oooo!
And I also want a huge plastic ball in my next office, instead of a chair. They are sooo comfy. mmmm-mmm.
Really, kids, I promise more meaty entries (entrails) as soon as my applications are done. It is bizarre how the re-writing never seems to end. Just when I think I'm done with something except for a proofreading, I'll start reading it, and then, five hours later, I say; "I think I'm done with this paper, just needs a little proofreading!" I am inspired to find out what my grey matter looks like on the outside.
Wednesday I get to do a video shoot for my dance teachers; I'm excited; it's to the Dresden Dolls. I am going to be cute and eeevol on film; my favorite two things!
Well, I should go and purchase some froo froo makeup for the shoot. Too bad there's no fake blood involved.
Love,
the horror hound

Badzeit mit meinen besten freunden, die Gummientchen!

Yey. Bettor. I like to be clean. I heart baths.

So, I thought I should give the update on my fish bowl.
It turns out that Cat--my black, googlie-eyed goldfish--is french. We now must refer to him in polite company as "Le Chat." He has a finely tuned palate for l'escargot, as can be whitnessed by the late Lady Jayne, who is now but an empty shell. I was right about Leelu not making it through the night in that previous post. Apparently fishes can murder with their own pee until there is enough bacteria in the water to neutralize the amonia. So now my little underwater world is only inhabited by the chic Monsieur Le Chat and his possible next meal, Genesis P. Orridge, Yellow Snail, esq. The fishes are suspicious.

John and I were Edward and Kim for Halloween. He's all pretty! 

blog? when?

So, I've been out of the loop of blog-land for a while; working on my grad applications. It's crazy how much there is to do when you have a statement of purpose and twenty pages of writing samples. I even had papers that I started with, but it turns out that making a paper go from a B to an A takes an extra 15 hours of work. SHEESH!
I just got home from dance class, which was good. I decided to not stay for hip-hop class because I broke my pinky toe again. Not even doing something crazy like leaps; I just like to stub it really hard every year or so. It's like an art project; now my pinky bone is shaped like a "Z" and the main joint is nearly twice as big in my right toe as in it's lefty counterpart. Heh.
I saw an ad on the blog log-in space for bloggers who are participating in the NaNoMo; or whatever that National Novel Writing Month is. How are you supposed to keep up a blog while you're trying to write 50,000 words in a month? It puzzles me. These people must not have jobs or lives or anything. I should try that sometime.
I am going to take a shower now.

An update from the land of stress...

Test went pretty well; I got in the 92nd percentile on my verbal, a 5.5 (out of 6 max) on the essays, and a 62nd percentile on the quantitative. Well.... I'm not an engineer, sadly.. but I did get a 670 out of 800 on it; I was bummed that I only really got one geometry-type question, and lots of graphs instead, which I am worst at. C'est la vie. Anyhow, that's not the important score for the lit programs, so I did pretty darn tootin' alright.

I just got my third letter of rec promise from an old prof who is now -get this- PRESIDENT of Smith College. SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET. I'm taking four days this weekend (tomorrow is a holiday, and friday I have comp time to cover), so I can just work on my apps. So, tomorrow, I will work on my writing samples, and try for some vague outlines of the SoP's, then Friday I have a phone meeting with HR (getting laid off at the end of this month, so they're trying to place me on another project), then a meeting with an old prof, then a meeting with a writing coach to see if she can help me with the SoP's.... Look at me; all grown up and getting on the ball like it's my last weekend instead of a month away. good for me! (I will be SSOOOOOO much less stressed if I can work really hard for the next couple of days; it will be soooo worth it. Maybe I will get back my sex drive. (Now THAT's stress, coming from me, eh? heh heh.. )

"Battle Royale" have you seen it??!! It's awesome!

I got some pet fish, but one of them looks like she might not make it through the night. The other one is chipper, however, so that's a good sign. At least I haven't poisoned them or anything. Two cute snails, too.Dancing still, zombies, good stuff and LOTS of change. Scary, but good.

Please come to the show on Tuesday!!! Please???!!! See the next blog for the info! 

Zombie Music Video this Tuesday 10/26!!!

THE CHAINSAW MAFIA INDEPENDENT HORROR FILM FESTIVAL

At the Parkway Speakeasy Theater
(www.picturepubpizza.com)
1834 Park Blvd.
Oakland, CA

Hosted by Shannon Lark, TCM Director

OCTOBER 26TH 9:15 pm

You can read more info on it at-

http://www.eastbayexpress.com/issues/2004-10-20/calendar/billboard3.html

The filmmakers works that will be presented-
Nik Wendelsdorf-Mr. Cleaver
Eric Callero-Flying Saucer Rock 'N' Roll
Tim Thompson-KFC Zombie
Jesse Kerman-Night of the Living Lush/Working Stiff
Anthony Marchitiello- The Ready to Drop Trilogy
Will Backer-KIN
Shannon Lark-Babies for Breakfast/Marburg/What Ever Happened to the ZombieKillers?
Jimmy James Roddy-Picture This
John Carlson-Aborted Shit Baby

On October 26th @ 9:15PM
a crowd will be celebrating these indie horror filmmakers! This will also be a chance for you to get exposed to the makeup artists, musicians, actors, producers, and others artists that create the horror community of the Bay area.
Tickets go on sale at 5:45 PM at the box office at the Parkway.
Please come out and cheer for these hardworking individuals, who make blood and guts into an art!

graduate school... the epic

Well, I'm back, finally... Sheesh! The DSL was down for a while; I took the GRE, I've been working a bunch of 12 hour shifts, travelling to Mountain View to cover the missing worker down there. Mayhem, basically, but not totally unpleasant.
The GRE went fine. I didn't explode the computer with my stunning skills, but I think I did just fine. I will get the percentage and essay scores next week, probably. I had to spend a couple of days totally freaking out about it, though. Many thanks to my lovely S and J, who comforted me in my time of psychosis. And I have offers for letters of recommendation from two of my profs, so far, so that is two out of three needed, although I may have to hunt harder for the last ones.. It's so hard to be asking and simultaneously wondering whether you should ask someone else who knows you less well, because they might be more major-specific, or famous, but they hardly remember your face. Maybe that is who I should find for the third one; someone with a shiney name. Problem is, I don't know how to find out who does have a shiney name; is there a list somewhere? In my book, my two peeps so far are my favoritest teachers in the world, and I want to be a good teacher like they are when I grow up. They're the people who've inspired me. Too bad I can't just bring them with me, and we could all interview together, and then the admissions comittee would be equally astounded by their talent.
I will have to start writing soon. I think I'll take my samples from work I did while in school; especially since I was in better practice with writing back then. I'll clean them up and probably have to edit for length, though, but at least I won't be starting from scratch. That would sure be a lot of work.
Has anyone out there applied to grad school and gotten in, who would be willing to let me peruse their statement of purpose? I am really feeling a little bit lost about how that should go. Mucho hearts to all who wil help!!