ghetto, roses, ghetto, roses.

That is what my neighborhood is like. Fourth Street posh with it's paper for eight bucks a fancy sheet, right next to crack houses.

On Saturday night, someone got shot about a block from my house. Apparently a drive-by, and they shot him about eight times. You could hear some man yelling cuss words afterwards and a mother screaming in mourning, "My baby! My baby!"

The question of the season is; "how cheap is your rent, and is it worth it?"

Honestly, I'm pretty sick of this. I went to watch a "public celebration" video for Bay Area Model Mugging class, because I'm applying for a scholarship. It was intense; made me cry a little bit. They teach women in high-stress situations, and with full force how to defend themselves from a single unarmed assailant. There are guys with full body armor, and you learn to kick them in the head until they supposedly pass out. They cuss at you, and intimidate you, and there are rape scenes and even a rape scene where they strangle you with a piece of cloth. It's hardcore. I really want to take the class, and to stop feeling scared when I am walking home. The woman who was working there and the woman who came to watch the video both were shocked by hearing how often I'm harassed. They wondered why, and so do I. My friend M says it's because I "exude sexuality", but christ, I am just walking down the street! I don't think it can all be blamed on my physical likeness to a local sex-worker. I get bothered everywhere... And it feels dumb and embarrassing that I want someone to walk with me now when I am walking at night. I feel encumbered, and I don't like feeling vulnerable. Well, hopefully I'll get some sort of scholarship, and I can take this class.